the tug

I’m gonna set aside time and spend it with God. Lots of time. I’m gonna get deep, intimate, personal with God and it’s gonna be great!!!” I’ve thought that a lot. I’ve done it too. But it never has lasted. Why? There’s been this tug. A tug to “not” do it. This tug suggests other things like spending time with people, with television, movies, internet, etc. This tug never seemed to work out much for my well being. This tug has kept me from some much needed growth many years ago. So I ask myself, “Am I in a place I could have been 8 years ago?” I won’t let myself go there because that will just produce regret. Rather it’s time for me to pay attention to a certain other “tug”.

“Hi there.” That’s what I heard this morning in church. “I like it when you’re with me.” Yes, that was God. He talks to me a lot. It’s amazing how I could spend so much time not listening to the creator of the universe and the lover of my soul. I said “Hi” back this morning and it got emotional. The first sentence in this blog came to mind again as my emotions stirred and my eyes watered. I have a beautiful connection with my Jesus, an amazing connection with my Father, a beautiful relationship with my Holy Spirit. I don’t say that smugly, I say that in regard to the foundation of my understanding with God. The humbling or perhaps embarrassing thing is how little time I actually spend alone with God. That’s the irony. The foundation of my relationship runs deep but HOW DEEP COULD IT ACTUALLY BE!? When he says “Hi There” I get glimpses. Glimpses into the glory of my life running side by side with Jesus taking the world by the horns and releasing His beautiful kingdom rich with love on unsuspecting people everywhere. Aaaahahahaa the Joy! The Rapture! The Bliss! And that’s just it. I felt that tug this morning. That tug to be with my beautiful God in the joys of His presence and His kindness.

The Scriptures say that His kindness leads us to repentance. So I repent! Oh I repent! Your tug has captured my heart and I’m all yours. You had me with “Hi There”. Repentance is something walked out and lived. It’s changing directions. So consider direction changed. It’s time to get significantly in touch with God in the secret place more than once in awhile…

Bill Johnson talks about creating and developing a personal history with God, it’s the responsibility of every believer and it cannot be imparted. “it’s easy for me to lay hands on somebody for impartation… but it’s impossible to impart to somebody my history with God” “history is primarily made in the secret place…when nobody is watching” “What can a child get from the mother? They can only get milk. If you’re going to get meat, you’ll have to hunt it on your own” “If you don’t seek Him in crisis, you’ll never seek Him in your success” “If you’ll make history with God, He’ll make history through you.”

Just as David’s defeat of the lion and the bear in the secret positioned him for his defeat of Goliath in the public arena, so our hidden victories in the secret place with God position us for our public victories when the world is watching and the devil is fighting.

For we are more than conquerors through Christ who gives us strength.

Nothing is impossible with God

It’s time to approach the throne of grace with confidence and that comes from knowing I am a son. I have the spirit of adoption. I am a co-heir with Christ. All that is His is for me as well. Thank you God!

God is For You

One of the greatest breakthroughs that has occurred in my mind these past couple years is the reality that God is for me. He really is, in everything, every aspect of my life. Even to this day, there are thoughts, and temptaitons to believe otherwise, but I know the truth. What does this look like practically? Here are just a few examples.

1. Sin. When I sin, God doesn’t separate Himself from me. I used to believe that so much. The salvation story, of God and man being separated by our sin and such seemed to have crept its way into my post salvation mindset as well. I believed if I messed up in some way I was more or less on a time out. That I had to “sit in the corner” as God cleaned the dirt off of me and stayed away from my dirtiness. SUCH A LIE! God is love and love moves close. When you betray those you love, when you hurt them, when you sin, someone who LOVES moves close, they don’t leave you. They move close. The old “Footprints” story comes to mind, and while that story focused on the “tough trials” and difficult seasons, I would let it work in areas of sin as well. 

2. Ministry. When I minister to someone, God isn’t out to sabotage me, and isn’t shy about showing up. I so often would battle with the fear that He is not going to show up when I prophesy or pray for someone’s healing or whatever. That’s a lie too. That would imply that God doesn’t want to show up in someone’s life. That He doesn’t want to change the world and impact it with His love. To minister to someone is to serve someone, to serve someone is to love someone. He shows up, because He wants to and He’s honored to be included in your serving.

3.Personal. When I interact with God personally. He’s not hiding from me, He’s not playing hard to get. It’s not an opportunity to spurn me on to striving to be with Him. The question is: “Am I present? Am I really engaging?” It’s not work to do this. It’s conversational, relational and more. In my history I have had difficulty engaging deeply with people, a fear of intimacy more or less. Naturally the same might occur in my interaction with God. He wants intimacy but I got to be there myself, it’s a two way street. As a result, when I simply sit down and chat with Him, it can be beautiful. When I’m fully present, there, available, interested, He shows up and He loves it. I give, He receives. He gives, I receive… It’s beautiful. 

Those are just a few examples, but there are so many more… Maybe I’ll add them later….

Thoughts on Purity

I used to struggle a lot with purity. Things like lust, pornography, masturbation and such. Many if not most guys do. It’s always been kind of a hush hush thing in Christendom. I’m thankful to modern purity movements who are removing the shame and releasing redemption for those who’ve been caught in addiction and lost in lust. I know what that felt like. It felt like I was enslaved, trapped, out of control, and unable to save myself or get help of any kind. Scriptural concepts like the one that says “He will never let you be tempted beyond what you can endure…” seemed ineffectual at the least.

Lately I’ve been enjoying a season of pure thoughts and healthy habits. I think much of this has to do with meeting my needs. I believe I talked on this before and so I won’t go into depth. Being aware each day of what’s missing or how I am feeling, and taking steps to meeting those needs often positions me for healthy choices and contentment.

The other day I was thinking about lust and temptation and I believe when one tends to try to meet their needs in an unhealthy way in these areas it often has to do with the need for closeness, intimacy, or acceptance. This led me to believe that often in the time of greatest temptation one could be facing an opportunity for a deep and intimate encounter with God. That the actual need for closeness paired with one turning his affections toward the Father would in turn produce a deep encounter with God that would be life giving, mind renewing, and heart refreshing…

I believe that when the enemy presents a temptation to our mind he is aware of our unmet needs and he wants to distract us from meeting that need in the arms of Christ. That temptation may in fact be an indicator of an invitation to enter into the deepest places of intimacy with the Father. Oh that I might be able to recognize and embrace that in the future everytime temptation comes…

Peace to you, to your mind, to your heart. May His face shine upon you. May His grace empower you. And may His love embrace you.