an encouraging culture shift?

Today at work I checked in a very polite family. The mom was very consistent with making sure the kids said “please” and “thank you”, etc. I got to thinking about things.

Growing up, I noticed how much more difficult it was for me to say something nice or positive to my parents. To approach them with honor in words, or to apologize or reconcile. It was like this surge of pride or a resistance to vulnerability. While saying mean things or disobeying them was really easy, and I didn’t hesitate doing it.

I always wrote that off as being part of our sin nature and so on.

Today I got to thinking, how often to we discourage kids from doing bad! The answer would be “much”. But how little do we encourage them when they do something good?

I like the word “encouragement” because the word “courage” is in it. Whenever I would be mean to my mom and then feel convicted and want to make it right by apologizing, I would find a weak will inside to actually do it. I used to write that off as pride, but I’m not so sure anymore. I think there was a lack of courage to do it. My reasoning goes toward that because I’ve already felt convicted about apologizing, so I know what I need to do, so why would I be divided in doing what I’ve already set my mind to? Rather, the way it felt was like a lack of courage or a fear of the vulnerability that came with. A sort of shame mentality.

I wonder if encouragement of good attitudes and positive communication was super consistent in my relationships if things such as reconciliation and honoring my parents with words of love would not have felt weird, but would have come naturally? At Bethel, the culture is such a place of honor that it’s weird if you don’t encourage someone. It’s strange if you aren’t telling someone how amazingly awesome they are. Even people you don’t know. Why is that? I think it’s partly because it’s encouraged. 

I wonder if in some families kids do bad things simply because it is the only time they actually receive attention from their parents. Even if it is negative, at least they got their attention and involvement. If the tide turned and the greater level of attention, encouragement, and love was given across the board and especially with good things, perhaps the desire to honor and keep the trust in a relationship would be more interesting and greater. 

It makes me wonder about the impact in society if the tide shifted to encouragement and attention to good deeds and honor. It could create a huge shift. One of the things that got me thinking about this was at work. Some of my colleagues have been complaining that the only time a manager ever comments on their performance is when they do something wrong and they never get a compliment about how well they’re doing. This amps the atmosphere with negativity, poor morale, complaining, and well, anger. That’s merely an example from a workplace, how much more in the greater world culture through media, politics, work, home, church, sports, etc.? 

These are just some running thoughts and not super thought out, but maybe you have some thoughts.

What do you think?