Putting the pieces back together....

I decided to keep posting on here. It will be a mirror of my abundance blog at: http://jeremylang.tumblr.com
This blog gets sent to my facebook Notes application and that is valuable to me...

I lost myself today, perhaps I should rephrase that. I lost it today… my cool, my peace, my spirit, my confidence, my joy? Yup, all those.
Where did it go? Where did I go? Who knows!?
I’m still not all back together yet. I feel uneasy, and my peace is shaky. I feel frail and concerned.
There I am. I am feeling what I am feeling, but where is that spirited one inside of me moving, breathing, walking in the confidence that is Christ in me the hope of glory?
The situation really wasn’t the biggest deal in the world. It utterly pales in comparison to 99.8% of the worlds problems, but I imploded and thoughts and thoughts and more frustrating thoughts ranging from anger to distrust to doubt to wanting to give up permeated my mind through this whole day. If such a small little bee sting of a problem can have such an elephant trampling effect on my apparently frail peace, what have I to say to the giants in the land?
I was confronted today with my doubts, fears and anger. It was a wake up call. It was both frightening and beautiful at the same time. Frightening to see a glimpse into what’s been boiling deep down, beautiful to actually FEEL! To feel what I’m feeling! Thank you God for this terrible experience, wait, it isn’t even your fault, but thank you for letting me go through it. I realize where You and I stand. I realize what’s brewing deep down there. I found myself in the losing….