Irresistible!!!

oh my goodness...
Ever find God to be irresistible? I encountered that today...
Kind of discombobulating in some respects.
I say that because, well, I wasn't expecting to feel that way when I walked into worship today at class.

You see, the past week has been not so great for me. I've been kinda down spiritually and emotionally. Just not doing so good with God and myself for that matter. Additionally the communication lines were minimal, I was just unmotivated in every way. Just entertaining myself with tv, movies, internet, anything besides God.

It's weird. I know the lack of motivation is partly because of the post-missions trip downer that I think a bunch of people get. You have such a spiritual high and then kinda just well, it's not the same exactly when you get back.
While our lives are a mission more or less, the level of attention to things outside yourself does have to be cut back a bit, or else our own lives would not be in order, so-to-speak. As a result you get a little down from the previous missional high. So much purpose, breakthrough and awesomeness.

The weird thing is, why on earth would I be so disconnected from God after such an amazing time feeling so connected with Him?
For this I go to one word "familiarity". Not just familiarity this time though. I think I encountered a familiar spirit when I got home and he worked me over, and I was caught off guard and didn't keep the gates closed (as a friend so nicely put it).

So by today, I was thoroughly detached from my daddy God. Which brings me to the amazement.... I walk into worship and well, I found one single thought enter my head. I want my Jesus... He's irresistible. He's way better than anything the world can offer. What was I thinking?
I quickly repented to the Lord and a friend, and got back in the mix.
I thought often of the scripture "My heart and my flesh cry out to the living God." I felt like there was a consecration of my flesh to the Lord. It felt like I was giving Him a gift.
It was funny, at one point they started playing a song called "Beautiful" by Phil Wickham. My thought was to stand up and sing it as an offering to the Lord. So I did, but I didn't sing it in His strength, I sang it in mine, on purpose. I felt like I wanted to give myself to him out of my own strength, my own flesh. No matter how feeble and weak and short-lived that is. I just wanted to "without His empowerment (grace) (aside from the life I have and breath I breathe)" give him something just from 'lil 'ol me.

I saw Jesus kinda chuckling at that one. It was beautiful though. And at the same time, how much of our life is really apart from God. He is our maker after all. But I can offer my life as a living sacrifice, and that's what I felt I did in that moment. It wasn't much, because it didn't require much sacrifice, but it was beautiful...

I'm so thankful for Jesus. He truly is irresistible. I've discovered that He is more valuable to me than anything in this world now. It's so refreshing to be able to say that....

(here's a lil self-benediction) - May I live from that truth. That He is more valuable to me than anything else. May I live in His grace, empowering me to change, grow, and bring life to myself and the world around me. May I love as I am loved. And may He only become even more irresistible to me day after day after day after day....